


Dance With the Devil

by ThreeCirclesofVaryingSizes



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series), Puppet History (Web Series), Ruining History (Web Series)
Genre: American History, Cameos by other Founding Fathers, Deal with a Devil, Gen, Genie - Freeform, Handwaving problematic aspects of history bc this is a fanfic about and for a puppet, Jelly Beans, Magic, Time Travel, i'll add more tags as i add more chapters, sue me
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-26
Updated: 2020-10-09
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:27:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,895
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26660683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThreeCirclesofVaryingSizes/pseuds/ThreeCirclesofVaryingSizes
Summary: The Professor has made a few mistakes in his life, but only one of them has lead to his current existence outside the normal realms of time and space.How can he get out of his contract with the mysterious genie, and what role will Ryan Bergara play?
Comments: 9
Kudos: 35





	1. John Adams Gets Straight Dunked On

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey so this chapter deals with the american founding fathers, and the more i've learned over the years, the more I've grown to be more "yikes" about those dudes, but since this is a fanfiction about a time travelling puppet I'm gonna...ya know...skim over the nuances here...
> 
> also I watched 1776 for the first time this summer so I am still a little bit jazzed on that (that soundtrack bops)

It’s lucky that jerk genie keeps receipts, thought the Professor, he looked over the Contract and popped a jelly bean into his mouth.

As the world around him folded in on itself, he turned the page and sighed. The world quickly came back into view, and the Professor found himself walking down the streets of Philadelphia, 1776. He put the Contract away in his satchel as he came upon a familiar building. He waddled up to the watchman at the door.

“Evenin’, Professor.” The man tipped his cap.

“Good evening, Samuel,” the Professor answered. “Is Dr. Franklin in today?”

“Yessir, I do believe I saw him getting a rise out of Mr. Adams again.”

The Professor chuckled. “And how is our friend from Virginia doing on his assignment?”

“I reckon he’s not quite done with that paper,” answered Samuel, “the missus is in town.”

“Then, I suppose I won’t be interrupting anything important yet!”

“Nothing important’s going on in there, sir,” said Samuel, “just a bunch of old men pontificating.” He waved the little puppet in.

“Well...you’re not wrong,” muttered the Professor, barely making it through the doorway of Independence Hall before being hit by a wall of shouts.

Coming upon the Assembly Room, the Professor was struck by the scene. A single man stood in the middle of the room, with the body language of a student in class who’s “just playing devil’s advocate”. Surrounding him, were fifty or so other men scolding him to various degrees. Sitting at the front, was yet another man, this one looking like an exhausted substitute teacher. The man perked up when he saw the Professor standing politely at the door.

“Order please, gentleman, I SAID ORDER.” John Hancock banged his gavel. “We have a guest this evening.”

The room turned and stared.

“Oh, hey guys!” The Professor waved. He should be used to rubbing shoulders with all kinds of characters, good and bad, great and small, and yet, he stood still slightly nervous in front of the Founding Fathers on the virtual eve of a revolution. “Y’all talkin’ ‘bout stuff?”

The man in the middle spoke. “‘Talking about stuff’... aaaaall we dooooo is taaaaalk. I am Trying to Persuade these gentlemen to Take ACTION.” He enunciated like a bad Shakespearean actor (though, the Professor has noted that Shakespeare himself often allowed more subtlety into his on-stage performances). “I am talking about stuff, the rest of the gentlemen are just talking.”

“How can they talk about stuff, when you’ve taken all the stuffing yourself?” called out an amiable looking older man sitting in the back as the room laughed. “No offense, of course, to my dear Professor.”

“None taken!”

The Professor has met a few historical figures in his time (and then some). Some famous, some, unfortunately, lost to history. He often ranked them as either Overrated and Underrated, so that he can keep track of the stories that still need to be told and the ones that have been told more than enough. The day he met Benjamin Franklin was the day he added a third category: Rated.

The man has his problems, of course. The Professor has rarely found any person who has had enough power to make a significant mark on history to be without egregious abuses of said power. But Dr. Franklin wasn’t all bad, especially considering his era, and he was one of the few Founding Fathers the Professor could enjoy talking to.

“Did you want anything, Professor, or are you just taking in the show?” John Adams crossed his arms, and the Professor could have sworn, tapped his foot.

“John, if you didn’t want people to take in the show, you shouldn’t be performing for all of Philadelphia.” More laughter from the room.

The Professor mulled over some choice comments on wanting equality and abolition and the expansion of women’s rights, but he knew full well it would fall upon deaf ears (literally: the contract stated that the Professor would have no effect on history, and in fact, he wrote this clause himself as to not make accidental changes to the established timeline).

Instead, he just looked over at the representative from Pennsylvania and said, “Actually, I was hoping to borrow you, Dr. Franklin. I have a document you can help me with.”

“Of course. While I am usually not one to leave during intermission, I have seen this one before and therefore, don’t mind missing the finale.” Franklin stood up slowly and leaned heavily on his cane. “I do apologize, though, John, you make for a lovely soprano.”

The entire Assembly Room absolutely erupted as the Professor and Ben Franklin shuffled out together, leaving the future President of the United States to huff in embarrassment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to do another one-shot but then I realized I couldn't possibly fit everything I want to explore in one go. I don't know how long this is going to be (or how long it will take). and if Shane suddenly adds some new lore in the season finale that messes with what I've written so far...well...that'll be annoying for me. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
> 
> I will try to keep on this in a timely manner, and since there's only one more episode in the season I'm not too worried about canon-lore getting in the way of headcanon yet!
> 
> Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed this!


	2. John Adams Gets Dunked On...AGAIN

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Professor and Ben Franklin discuss this..."deal with the devil" until someone interrupts them! (three guesses who and the first two don't count)

“I’m sorry Professor, there doesn’t seem to be any loophole to this contract.” Ben Franklin sat back in his chair.

The puppet sighed sadly. “Oh, well, thank you for going over it anyway.” He looked down, clutched his warm mug of cocoa, and swung his short legs slightly.

The founding father stared at the Professor, his eyes searching for information. “May I ask what a fellow of...your background is doing with a contract like this? Who is the second party?”

“I don’t know if you would believe me if I told you.”

“My dear Professor, you have told me many things one would find hard to believe, and yet, have I given you any ounce of skepticism?”

The Professor thought it over. It was true he revealed his secret of time travel to Franklin, but that was mostly due to a slip-up. Here’s a tip: If you’re going to quote a famous speech while time traveling, make sure it has already taken place before you quote it. Luckily, Franklin didn’t find the Professor’s precursory knowledge of Patrick Henry’s “Give me liberty or give me death” to be frightening (the Professor has had some close calls at the Salem Witch Trials), but immediately took to the puppet and the two became fast friends.

The Professor put down his hot cocoa. “Alright. Ben, I think I may have accidentally made a deal with the devil.”

The old man gave a hearty chuckle, his eyes twinkling. “It always seems like that, doesn’t it?”

“No, I mean a deal with the literal devil. Or a demon? I’m not really familiar with the hierarchy of Hell. I don’t know, maybe I should’ve gone to Dante or someone.”

At this point, a lesser man would have been scared off, but not Benjamin Franklin. “Sounds more to me like you need a pope.”

“No way, I’ve dealt with enough popes in my lifetime. Those guys are crazy.”

“So, you’ve told me.”

The two sat in silence for a few minutes, both in deep thought. While the Professor was mentally going through the list of other historical figures whose brains he could pick, Franklin had his own line of thought.

Finally, Franklin spoke. “I have an idea that may seem unorthodox.”

“Well, I’m at the end of my rope so shoot.”

Franklin paused to laugh at the puppet’s strange way of speaking. “I have a few friends in Europe, who fancy themselves scholars of the strange and oftentimes, the occult.”

The Professor grimaced. “If this is going where I think it’s going…”

“It’s not!” Ben assured (spoiler: it was). “There is a completely secret society that my good friend Lord Dashwood is a part of…”

By the grace of God (nice guy, great singing voice!), John Adams burst through the door. “Aha! Franklin, I knew you were lounging around somewhere!”

“John, I have spent 70 years on this earth, I think I can afford to spend an hour or so in fascinating conversation with an old friend.”

Adams' eyes barely passed over the Professor, before he turned back to Franklin. “I don’t know if you’ve heard but there is a WAR going on!”

“So you’ve said.”

Adams sulked around the room. “And just what are you doing, meeting so clandestinely with an 'old friend'. What do you two talk about?” He was now staring directly at the Professor.

“I dunno. Stuff?” The Professor took a sip of cocoa, leaving a faint mustache on his blue fur.

“Again, with your...‘stuff’.” Adams took a glance out the window, and the Professor felt himself shake.

“Listen, pal. I’m sorry I’m not as eloquent as all you guys in Congress, but it’s kinda personal, and I don’t know if I can trust you.”

Adams was taken aback, while Franklin watched his friends argue with glee. Adams managed to sputter, “You, Professor, are still keeping secrets with a member of Congress during a time of war, and I demand to know what it is!”

“Oh, demand all you want, baby. You ain’t nothin’ outta me.” The Professor jumped at his chance to insult a founding father. “As the big guy here put it, ‘Three can keep a secret if two of them are dead.’”

“Is that really one of mine? I don’t recall that one.” Franklin took out a notebook and wrote it down.

“Uh… oops,” said the Professor.

Adams was nearly as red as a British military uniform. “FRANKLIN. I will not stand here and be insulted by...by… HIM.”

“You don’t seem to mind being insulted by everyone else. And by all means please sit down.” Franklin pulled up a chair. “I am thinking that if we don’t go into full details of the Professor’s conundrum, he won’t mind if you listen in a while. Just so we can prove to you that he is...how did you put it, Professor.”

“Kosher?”

“That’s it.” Franklin winked at the Professor. “Now John, our dear Professor has found himself in an unfavorable contract with, let’s say an unsavory character, and I’m trying to help him find a way out of it.”

Adams, while still suspicious, cooled down. “I take it there are no loopholes in said contract?”

“None whatsoever.”

“And this...unsavory character? Is he-”

“A jerk? The biggest one I’ve ever seen!” The Professor slammed his hand on the table, producing a small squeak. “And I mean that both metaphorically and literally, that guy is huge!”

“I’m sure that’s a matter of perspective,” sneered Adams down at the Professor.

“Let’s not get nasty, John,” Franklin chided, “after all, you’re hardly taller than he is.”

Impatient, Adams stood up again. “If you can’t get out of the contract independently, you have only one option.” He walked towards the door and then spun dramatically to face Franklin and the Professor. “You must use the powers of persuasion to convince the second party to free you. And should that fail...you must lead your own REVOLUTION.”

And with that, John Adams stomped out the door. The Professor could swear he heard a marching band following behind.

He turned back to Franklin. “So, do you think I have a chance?”

“Ohhh, about as much as we do, I suspect.”

“But how do I persuade the devil?”

“There is a secret to persuasion that even the great John Adams has yet to grasp.”

The Professor scooched closer to Franklin. “What’s that?”

“Compromise.”

The Professor stared blankly at the old man.

“Find something this...devil wants or needs, and offer it in exchange for your freedom.”

And it was at that moment, the Professor knew exactly what he had to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your kind comments and kudos for the first chapter! Sorry I took a while with this but life is kinda crazy right now, but I'm glad I have this silly show to go back to.
> 
> Hope you like this chapter (and the references to Ruining History and BFU!) I can't tell you how much I enjoy writing John Adams :)


End file.
